If you ever ask an Azeri official how this small, resource rich country intends to make money after its oil and natural gas reserves dry up, the answer, almost to a man, is tourism. Yes, tourism.

As anyone who has ever flown into Heydar Aliyev International Airport knows, the tourism sector in Azerbaijan is, shall we say, underdeveloped. A tourist visa costs an exorbitant $131 (assuming you are a US citizen) and once you exit the airport, the situation isn't much better. There are very few traditional tourist sites, the country is extremely expensive, and most of the transportation infrastructure hails from the Brezhnev era.

In short there is a good reason that most of the "tourists" one sees in Baku are either businessmen trying to kill time before their next meeting or Germans waiting for the ferry to Turkmenistan.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in Azerbaijan. There are many amazing things to do and see here and Azeris are beyond hospitable. But the reality is that when an upper-middle class family of four decides where to spend their vacation dollar, very few will choose Azerbaijan. Certainly not enough to replace the billions of dollars revenue of generated by the sale of Azeri oil and natural gas.

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Azeri officials are undaunted by such admonitions. They cite a variety of new construction projects around Baku as evidence that the city is doing what it takes to attract tourists. 

These projects include a new international bus station in the shape of a ship (often referred to by Bakuvians unironically as the Titanic):

And a $41.5 million shopping mall that looks like a burrito with a Gherkin at either end:

Visit pretty much any Azeri primary school outside Baku and you will see exactly where this money should have been spent. Having heating during winter does wonders for students' study habits, but I digress.

In addition to these public works projects, holding companies with intimate ties to the regime are building an endless stream of expensive hotels and luxury apartments. By early 2011 Baku--a city that currently has one Hyatt, which is underbooked--will have a Hilton, a Marriott and a Four Seasons all within a mile of each other.

The Aliyev regime is spending massive amounts of money in an attempt to buy the trappings of culture and progress and thereby legitimacy while largely ignoring the country's crumbling education and social service systems.

Of course this formula isn't new. The Azeri government draws much of its inspiration for glittering tourist destination dreams from the Emiratis--pioneers in the art of building monuments to culture and progress without actually achieving either. The Azeris are even planning their own version of Dubai's (in)famous Palm Island:

Perhaps most telling is that when you press Azeri officials on exactly who will shop in the expensive new malls, stay at the swanky hotels, and rent the luxury apartments, they don't have answers.

Welcome to the post-modern Potemkin Village.

-Evan